Humor

Sent in by Bill Walker.

A Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine and Coastguardsman got into an argument about which branch of the service was "The Best."  The arguing became so heated that the five service men failed to see an oncoming truck.  They were run over by the truck and killed instantly.
 
Soon the five servicemen found themselves at the Pearly gates of Heaven.
 
They met Saint Peter and decided that only he could be the ultimate source of truth and honesty.  So the five servicemen asked him, "Saint Peter, which branch of the US Armed Forces is the best?"
 
Saint Peter replied, "I can't answer that.  However, I will ask God what He thinks the next time that I see Him.  Meanwhile, thank you for your service on Earth and welcome to Heaven.
 
Some time later the five servicemen see Saint Peter and remind him of the question that they had asked when first entering Heaven.  The five asked Saint Peter if he was able to find the answer.
 
Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on Saint Peter's shoulder.  In the dove's beak is a note glistening with gold dust.  Saint Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and Saint Peter begins to read the not aloud to the five servicemen:
 
MEMORANDUM FRO THE DESK OF THE ALMIGHTY ONE
 
TO:  All Former Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coastguardsman
 
SUBJECT:  Which military Service is best
 
1.  All branches of the United States Armed Forces are honorable and noble.
 
2.  Each serves America well and with distinction.
 
3.  Serving in the United States military represents a great honor warranting special respect, tribute and dedication from your fellow man.
 
4  Always be proud of that.
 

Sincerely,
 

GOD, US Army (Retired)

From a list of Flight Maxims sent in by Walt White.

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and good bowel movement. --- The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time.

From Lancer 14:

One day recently I brainstormed; lighting and all, (no not white
lightning Jerry), and came up with these possible bumper sticker phrases
concerning our crews. Most of this batch was from the Crew Chiefs point
of view. These are John-14 originals. You've seen it first here.

It was a privilege to fly with me Sir!

My wife can only hope I treat her as well as I did my aircraft!

Tell the enemy to hold their fire until I get there!

I Was the Shadow in the Valley of Death!

Crew Chiefs and Gunners were the means by which pilots got medals!

Rambo was trained by helicopter crews.

A Crew Chief always wanted to shoot VC/NVA and sometimes the pilot.

If you're good Sir, someday I'll let you shoot my 60.

CREW: A/C, Peter, Gunner, Owner.

PETER PILOT: A source of entertainment for a Crew Chief.

HUEY: Flying platform designed to carry Gunners into battle.

Don't you brake my helicopter Sir!

You Fly! I Fight!


LOL

John Donaldson
14